well, do you know what is insomniac? as i know (without a certain research) insomniac is a kind of psychological trouble about hard of getting sleep. i don't know why those several people are so hard of going nap. perhaps because of their problems or others.
i also included into the one of insomniac. i don't know why i also getting hard to fall asleep. I've tried some ways to get easy of sleep. sometimes i remember several memories, i imagine how is my life when I've been a wife with a right husband and cute kids, i also did the silly things such as counting sheep or shaking my feet back and forth. but i don't know why that i'm not too interesting of book reading before sleep. I've never got sleepy by this way.
on Thursday night, aaarrrrggghhh, my insomniac was coming again and against my willing of getting sleep. well guys, that was such a crazy thing that i hadn't any nap on that night. when it dawn, my mind was confusing about something i (have to) hate. unfortunately, those thing was kept on my mind until adzan subuh heard.
when i know, i was getting my self nervous. how could that be? I've never dreamed it come to me after all this long time i tried to get away from it. i felt lost my long effort. i needed so much energy to control my breath, to face it, to stand up, to show my (in lie) sleepy face, and to say words. i wouldn't give a long responses because i didn't want they think that I'm too care about it. how could? I've passed it, i don't have obligations anymore. when it gone, i ran rush into my house and busted the door. i took my phone and text-ed to sisilia. on that night, i cried in silence. i didn't want my mom hear my crying voice.
i try to forget, I TRY! because in this short time, I'll go further and leave all of that sweet memories. i know that it is not the only one. may Allah bless me and give me longer time to live so that i can find the one who could be my last decision to lay on. the one who could be my life leader, who can give me know about the rite direction, give me love and promises of being good family president.
my mind is still about ya, but i don't want waste my time of thinking ya. i have a limited time to wait and perhaps it is enough of being waiting for ya. in another hand, when later i have my normal life, i can go back if you call and want to return all of we had done before. i promise :)
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